The Body_Reading Journal 2

     If we don’t read the book deeply, it seems that the story is merely about four boys who were raised in dysfunctional family. They heard about the corpse of Ray Brower who was in their age, and decided to find out the dead body and be heroes. But that’s not the all of the story. Thanks to the journey, those four boys were changed and learned something. Stephen King might want to talk about those lessons and change through ‘the body.’

     I think Gordie is the one who changed most among four boys. He was invisible man in his family. His parents were only interested to his dead brother, Dennis, and they were totally indifferent to Gordie. And even Gordie accepted that as natural. Moreover, he felt somewhat guilty about his brother’s death, although Dennis’ death was not up to Gordie, himself. He thought ‘it should have been him, not his brother’ like his father said in his dream. However, after he watched the dead body of Ray Brower, who was killed by accident, he seemed to understand the fact that death is the thing that no one can prevent and the thing that everybody have to experience at some point in his or her life. Gordie realized the fact that Dennis just met his death earlier than ordinary people, and that was not Gordie’s fault. I think Gordie could get free from the burden in his mind thanks to the journey. Not only Gordie, but also Chris, Teddy, and Vern might understand what mortality is.

     All those four boys became mature than before during the journey. As they grew up they could gain many things such as knowledge or independence. However there was something they lost, too. Gordie, Teddy, Vern, and Chris didn’t have anyone to depend on except themselves, so their friendship was somewhat special. I thought they will remain as best friends to each other forever. However, after the journey their relationship became looser and looser, and at last, all they could do was just to say ‘Hi’ when they met. In the process of being adults, we lose some of our friends. Four boys were in the process of being adults, and that may be the reason why the subtitle of ‘the body’ is ‘fall from innocence.’

     We are not invisible man as Gordie, we are not expected to be a trouble maker like Chirs, we don’t have a brother as wicked as Vern’s, and we are not the son or daughter of a loony. However, like those four boys, we also experience the process of being adult. No one is born as an adult, and no one stay as a child forever. I think Stephen wanted to talk about that, ‘being mature’ that we will experience, or already experienced, through those four boys.

Reflective Essay_My KMLA Life

It has already been a year that I 'lived' here in KMLA. KMLA is a school, a school which is totally different from ordinary schools. Besides, this school entirely changed my life style for a year.  Maybe because all the KMLA students, including me, eat, study, sleep and play at the dormitory and solve every trivial problem by ourselves. We are literally 'living' at school, and that fact made me more diligent and strict to myself. It was hard, and till now, I feel hard in some aspects, but I could learn many things through a year in KMLA

Among many things that I learned in KMLA I want to talk about that I learned how to clean the bathroom. Some may laugh at the first sentence. "Is that all that she learned from dormitory life is just to clean the bathroom?" People may expect from me to learn something big, such as independence or something. But, learning how to clean the bathroom was also a big and meaningful thing to me, because the fact that I don't even know how to clean the place, although I used it every day for 16 years, was kind of shock to me. I thought I was old enough to live by myself. However, I was merely a child who was in need of help of adults around me. 

Well, I also did some cleaning when I was at home. I brushed my room, tidied up my desk, and made up my bed. But that was all. I just had to clean up my room, 'my area.' My brother and I had to clean our room, but my parents had to clean not only their room but also the rest of the house, such as living room or toilet. I took it for granted for 16 years, and I had never thought of cleaning the bathroom by myself, because it was not my task. However, there was no 'my area' in the dormitory room. The whole dorm room was 'our area' and it was us who had to clean the bathroom. At first, it was unfamiliar to clean there, but soon, we learned the way to clean through real-life experience.

Although we are skilled at cleaning the bathroom, still it is a bit disgusting. To clear the drain, we have to endure disgusting smell from the hole, and remove a bunch of hair and dust from it. Those hairs are from us but I can help thinking they are nasty. When I first experienced such things, I thought of my mom and dad. They cleaned all those hairs from my brother and I (mostly from me), without any complaint. I suddenly and anew, felt grateful toward my parents for their efforts to raise us. Of course, they have much more hardships, which are incomparable to the hardship of cleaning the bathroom. But, it became a chance for me to think about my thankful parents. Just knowing and experiencing at least a little part of hardship that my parents would have suffered from was different.

It is true that I am not fully satisfied with this school, and sometimes, I even feel all those things that school require from us such as morning exercise of 애국조회 is useless. But I can't deny the fact that, there is something that I can learn, such as my parent's love, even from cleaning the bathroom. And that's the reason why I love this school and the time I spend here is valuable. I hope that I can learn more for the rest 2 years.

TED_Why are we happy? by. Dan Gilbert

     What is the purpose of our life? Why do we work so diligently, and why do we want to achieve something? That is because we want to be happy. All of us want to be a protagonist of story with ‘happily ever after,’ and try to find their happiness. However, in reality, it is inevitable to experience frustration, and people make diverse effort to overcome such frustration, to find their happiness. According to Dan Gilvert, happiness is not far from us. Rather, we can find out happiness in ourselves. In other words, we can voluntarily engender our happiness.

     Well, the sentence I mentioned above is somewhat abstract, isn’t it? However, it is true that people try to satisfy with their given situation and those people, who are unexpectedly credulous, easily have resolute thought that thought that they are happy. And we call this ‘psychological immune system.’ Yet, some people may think the concept is somewhat dubious. So, to facilitate the explanation, I will exemplify this concept with some people who synthesized their happiness. Moreeze Bickham, who was falsely accused and had to spend most of his life in the prison until he was acquitted, said that his life is ‘glorious.’ Furthermore, Jim Right, who was a famous Democrat politician, lost his fame, wealth, and everything because of a certain event, but said he is happier than before. These two are exemplary case of those who have prodigious psychological immune system. Of course, ability to synthesize happiness is different from person to person, but I think it is safe to say that there’s no one who can’t make their happiness unless they don’t make any effort.

     Then, some skeptical people may suggest an argument that people ‘pretend’ to be happy, because it is too hard to endure the agony they suffer from. Experiment with anterograde amnesics (those who can’t make new memory) will lucidly approve that synthesized happiness is not a merely pretension, but as same as natural happiness. Experimenter showed 6 pieces of Monet’s aesthetic painting to subjects and asked them to arrange those pieces in the order of preference. And they promised to give third one. After they came back to the hospital about after an hour, experimenters asked again to arrange the picture in order of preference. Amnesics, who forgot everything about the experiment, scrutinized the pictures and selected the third one in which the experimenters promised to give to the subjects before. The subjects synthesized their happiness based on the given situation (the third picture). And it was not a pretension or something, but was genuine happiness.

     To be concise, our happiness, which can enhance our lives, is up to us, not anything else, and that artificially made happiness is as value as natural happiness. I’m sure that there will be innumerable thing that can be materials of our happiness, if we get interested in every small thing that we were indifferent.

Review_Nodame Cantabile, the final score

     I had never seen foreign TV dramas. I watched only Korean TV dramas, and I was accustomed to them. My friends suggested me to watch some Japanese TV dramas several times, but I didn’t paid attention to what she said. As usual, my friend told me about a Japanese TV drama, Nodame Cantabile, she saw yesterday. That TV drama was about classical music and I, who was interested in classical music, decided to watch that drama. As I expected, it was totally different from the style of Korean TV drama, but I was not repulsed, rather was mesmerized by the charm of Japanese TV drama with unique characters and settings. Of course, I saw the whole chapter of the drama, and watched it over and over again several times. Since, it was one of the special TV dramas to me, its last story, ‘Nodame cantabile, the final score,’ which was made into movie, was also a meaningful and unforgetaable one to me.

     There are two main characters in Nodame Cantabile, Chiaki Shinichi and Noda Megumi (called ‘Nodame’). Chiaki was a musician of genius. Thanks to his outstanding talent in music, he succeeded to adjust to Paris. I liked the character of Chiaki, but he is not the one I want to talk about today. He was somewhat far from ordinary people like me, so I couldn’t actually sympathize with the character. Another character, Nodame, was the one who I could totally understand and sympathize because she was similar to me. Nodame, who was a bright and positive character, experienced frustration as a musician (to be specific, as a pianist). She thought that she didn’t have enough talent to be a world-wide pianist and experienced inner conflict. She wanted to give up the hard way, to be a pianist, and go back to the easy way, to be a teacher in kindergarten.

     As I mentioned above, I think I am in similar situation with her. In my case, my dream is to be a biologist, who studies for the improvement of biology. There are too many people who are more talented and have much more possibilities than me. So, sometimes, I doubt that whether I can be a helpful biologist for the world or not. I like biology and want to be a biologist, but I am not confident to achieve something as a biologist, then, why don’t I find another career which is safer, more comfortable and more enjoyable? Nodame and I, both of us had two options, one of them was relatively unpredictable and the other one was relatively predictable and safe. Nodame was brave enough to overcome the frustration and challenge to a seemingly hard way. How about me? I didn’t decide yet, but I hope that I can be as brave as Nodame to make decision without any regrets.

     I waited for the next story of Nodame Cantabile for about three years. But there will be no more next story that I can wait because the movie, ‘Nodame Cantabile, the final score’ was the last story of Nodame Cantabible series. I feel empty about the fact that this is the last story. The fact that I can’t see Nodame and Chiaki is really sad, but I’m sure that they will live happily because they didn’t gave up their dream.

The Body_Reading Journal (for the first 30 pages)

    

     I have a lot of complaints. I think I complain at least once an hour. Even now, while I am writing the reading journal, I am still complaining. ‘I feel so sleepy and I don’t want to write this reading journal. I read only 30 pages of the book and what can I write about it?’ However, compared to the situation of the four boys in the story, my surrounding is definitely better than them.

     Well, why did they have to live in such poor environment? What was Steven King’s intention? Gordon’s beloved brother was died, and his parents were indifferent to him. Chris was raised in a rich family but Gordon’s father called him a thief. (I’m not sure why he called Chris as a thief. I couldn’t find out the reason). Teddy’s father was alcoholic, and when he was drunk, he hit his son. Teddy’s father did terrible deed to his son. And Teddy himself was a bit strange, too. He enjoyed being in dangerous situation. Vern was raised in relatively normal family. However, Vern had an evil older brother named Billy. Why those 4 characters had to be in such abnormal settings? Couldn’t Stephen King talk about four boys’ friendship in more normal and bright setting?

     It is true that the setting of the story is unfolded in abnormal setting. Most of us are not living in such dysfunctional family, so it would be a bit hard to sympathize with the characters. However, that setting which is hard to sympathize may be the essential part to give salience to their precious friendship. If Gordon’s parents were not indifferent to their son, Teddy’s father was not a alcoholic, and Vern had a kind and normal older brother, would they be able to have friendship as deep as they had in the original story? I don’t think so. They could feel closer to their friends because they had nothing to depend on except friends. That may be one of the reasons why they couldn’t have normal family as other ordinary 12-year-old boys.

     Actually, almost nothing happened in the first 30 pages of the book. I couldn’t understand why Stephen King wrote another story in the original story with big letters. All that I know is four characters, their characteristics, surroundings, and the fact that the boys decided to go to find the body. So, I didn’t have any other way but to write about the characters, the one I know, for the reading journal. Although I didn’t read even a tenth of this book, the story seems to be very interesting, and I think I will be able to write something more after I read the whole story.

Metafiction_If I were the principal of the KMLA

     It was Monday again. I felt harder to wake up at 6 o’clock because I didn’t wake up till late in the weekend. But I had to overcome such difficulties not to get penalty points. Everything would be same with last week, I thought. ‘We will wear 예복 for the 애국조회, and will listen to what teachers say for about 10 minutes. I may have to be careful for the whole day not to step on my long skirt and fall.’ Every day in KMLA, especially Monday, was too uncomfortable and perfunctory.

     Not only me but also many other students complained about this. Invariably, students around me were complaining about the school. “Why do we have to wear this uncomfortable clothes?”, “Why do we have to go to the gymnasium every Monday?” etc. But, that was all. They complained about the discomfort of the school’s system, but anyone tried to express their opinion in loud voice, in front of teachers. I think students were waiting for the hero who can save them from the school, but didn’t want to be the hero. And I was not an exception. My thought was not that different from others. ‘Is there no one who can bravely lead the students and suggest our opinions to the school?’

     But, I knew that it was a kind of vain hope. We were too obedient to argue against teachers’ decision. It was time to go to the gym for the 애국조회, one of the things that in which student think it’s useless but don’t have other choice but to go. In the gym, we stood in line and stayed there without any movement for about 30 minutes. It was almost over, and I could hear the 행정위원 saying “any announcement?” It was time for teachers who have to announce something to students, but that day, not a teacher, but a senior came out for the announcement. It was different from the usual pattern, so students paid attention to what he said. He started his speech like this.

“There are many things that I’m not satisfied with KMLA. Although students make effort to change things, there’s almost nothing that is changed. There are so many inconveniences, so I may not be able to tell all those things here. So, I will talk about very small parts of problems in KMLA.”

He started to say like that in front of all of the students and teachers. His “announcement” was unexpected one, so most students and teachers might not be able to fully understand what he was talking about. There was no reaction from the audience and the gymnasium was very quiet. He continued speaking.

     “Every week starts with boring, drowsy, and meaningless 애국조회. Every student wears heavy but cold 예복. We spend our precious time for 애국조회 only to sing the school song and national anthem. However, the most annoying thing on Monday is class meeting in 8^th period. School and teachers never reflect students’ opinion that we discussed at class meeting, though they ‘gave’ us time to discuss on school’s problem. In my opinion, recent serious problems are vending machine because many students experienced that disgusting worms came out from the coffee. However, teachers didn’t gave us chance to find the solution on our own, but just noticed that the school can’t do anything because they don’t have money. Class meeting is merely a pretense in our school.”

     Some students understood what he said and started to clap and cheer. But teachers’ attitude was quite different from the one of students. They might think that the student on the platform is trying to instigate other students and to put the school in chaos. So, one of the teachers tried to go up to the platform to prevent him from continuing the speech. But the students who were encouraged by the speaker’s braveness, didn’t stand still. They were not obedient and quiet students anymore. Those students didn’t allowed the teacher to interfere the speech and the speaker could keep speaking what every other student wanted to say.

     “The second thing is that it is almost as though KMLA sacrifices everything from practicality to comfort to get its students to the best universities and colleges. And yet, KMLA seems to fall short in that as well. The EOP and small-sized classes KMLA boasts of is contradicted by the total inadvertence to EOP and the forty students per Biology and Psychology classes. EOP can be effective when students voluntarily keep the policy. However, in fact students can’t keep it voluntarily because it seems like the school forces them to use English. The most dumfounded thing is EOP helper policy. EOP helpers have to fill their quarter or they will get penalty points. From this policy, we can find out that the school has premise that students will not keep EOP. I think such policy will be useless and it will just worsen the relationship between school and students.

     So, if I were the principal of KMLA, I would bring renovation to this place. Even though this place or the system itself is a heap of shame that should be beheaded, students here are smart and most teachers are ready to listen to what we say. In poor surrounding, I believe that not only me but also other students will make their every effort to change the school. If I were the principal of KMLA, I will make the school totally for students.”

     The speech was finished and not only the speaker but also other students went back to their daily routine like nothing happened during 애국조회. There were many rumors about the occurrence such as the speaker was kicked out of the school or etc. However, the rumor was just a rumor. He attended school normally and could graduate without special incident. There was no dramatic change in our school, but I could certainly feel that our attitude was changed. Teachers became more careful with the decision related to us, and students became more active regarding the school problem. We are changed as we expected thanks to the only one student’s effort.

spring, summer, fall, winter, and spring

     One of the most important ideologies of Buddhism is ‘not to kill something alive.’ In the movie ‘spring, summer, fall, winter, and spring,’ to be more specific, in the part named ‘spring’, I could watch the story of a Buddhist monk and a young monk, which is closely related to the ideology I mentioned above.

     Well, I don’t want to talk about ‘how important the living things are, and the reason why we should not kill those precious things.’ That is common sense not only to Buddhist, but also to all the other people. We’ve already learned such things and I think we are old enough, so I don’t have to talk about the topic here. In this movie, the most impressive part was the way that the monk used to teach his young monk.

     People can’t fully understand other’s situation or feeling unless they are in the same situation. The old monk knew the fact very well, and that may be the reason why he hung a big stone on the boy monk’s body. I have same experience that young monk. When I was about 8or 9 years old, a new student came to my school. I expected a lot at the thought of making a new friend. When the new student came in to the classroom, however, I disappointed a lot. She was somewhat different from the feature of friend I thought. She was a mentally retarded so needed a lot of help from other students. Every behavior of her was slow. She ate lunch slowly, talked slowly, and walked slowly. She was totally different from me who was impatient and active. My homeroom teacher asked me to take care of the new friend. I hesitated a lot because I felt stuffy of her, but I couldn’t reject my teacher’s request. Since then, I spent most of the school life with her. At first, I tried to be a good friend to her, but I was too young at that time to carefully concern others’ situation. Soon, I gave up to be a good and kind friend to her. I started to ignore her, and naturally, she became an outsider in our class. And one day, my teacher heard about my ignorance toward her and asked me to see her after school. For quite a long period of time, she didn’t say anything to me. And then, she ordered me to take of my glasses. I couldn’t see anything, and it was so stuffy. My teacher said, “If you take off your glasses you can’t see things well, so you can’t do anything. Your new friend has similar difficulties. She also feels stuffy but she can’t do anything because of her difficulties. You have to understand her.” I already knew that I had to help handicapped people, at that time. But I strongly felt what was wrong with my behavior after I myself be in the same situation with my new friend.